Archive for alphabet

Y is for Why oh Why Taylor? Why?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 27, 2010 by itsallgrey

Dear Taylor,

How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t joke with the Soul Patrol. These people are going to be all over DWTS with a petition faster than you at an all you can eat BBQ.

Seriously.

*sigh*

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W is for Whomp? What?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on March 8, 2010 by itsallgrey

Ok, getting back to the coveted alphabet series, I was thinking of a W that pertains to Taylor Hicks. All I could think of was Modern Whomp Records. Here’s what I want to know, Taylor. What the hell is whomp? Did you make that word up? So, I went searching the internet for definitions. Here’s what I got:

Super Mario-Whomps are large, walking stone-wall like enemies that are minions of Bowser. They debuted in the game Super Mario 64.

Or there’s this:

whomp up, Informal.
a.
to make or create quickly: to whomp up a new set of guidelines.
b.
to stir up; rouse: to whomp up public approval.

I know what he’s said…it’s a blend of soul, jazz, blues and funk. Okay. Whatever.

Here’s another thing that bugs me about the phrase. Tacking Modern on to the front of it assumes that there was old whomp, right? I mean, is there retro whomp? Try saying that three times fast. 🙂

Anyway, on to more relevant news, who wants to place bets on whether one of the winners is Taylor? Although he has told us that he wants to record a new record (if we could only be that lucky), act, and relax this summer, I just can’t see him passing up an opportunity like this. As long as it involves Taylor Hicks on a stage singing something other than Beauty School Dropout, I’m all for it.

R is for…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on November 30, 2009 by itsallgrey

…Ray Charles

…Rockin’ Pneumonia

…random interview

Yep. I’ve got nothing after that.

Q is for Quiet

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on November 16, 2009 by itsallgrey

Can you feel the silence?

Taylor loves to shush his band…

And again…

N is for National Anthem

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 27, 2009 by itsallgrey

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Taylor has sung the National Anthem so many times that he’s gotten really good at it.

and finally….

Here’s a little history lesson for you….

Francis Scott Key was a gifted amateur poet. Inspired by the sight of the American flag flying over Fort McHenry the morning after the bombardment, he scribbled the initial verse of his song on the back of a letter. Back in Baltimore, he completed the four verses (PDF) and copied them onto a sheet of paper, probably making more than one copy. A local printer issued the new song as a broadside. Shortly afterward, two Baltimore newspapers published it, and by mid-October it had appeared in at least seventeen other papers in cities up and down the East Coast.

This 19th century version (MP3) of the Star-Spangled Banner was performed on original instruments from the National Museum of American History’s collection. Arranged by G. W. E. Friederich, the music is played as it would have been heard in 1854.
The Star-Spangled Banner

O say can you see, by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hail’d at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight
O’er the ramparts we watch’d were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there,
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream,
’Tis the star-spangled banner – O long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore,
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion
A home and a Country should leave us no more?
Their blood has wash’d out their foul footstep’s pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave,
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O thus be it ever when freemen shall stand
Between their lov’d home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with vict’ry and peace may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the power that hath made and preserv’d us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto – “In God is our trust,”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

Looking for Love…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2009 by itsallgrey

In keeping up with the alphabet theme, I present you with

L is for Love

I think I have figured out Taylor’s PR problem. He needs more visibility, specifically in the eyes of the younger generation. He needs to be the young dude in a power couple, kind of like Demi Moore and Ashton Kuchter. So, in an effort to fix this problem, I’m going to ask Taylor a question:

Taylor, when you were growing up, did you have a crush on anybody beside Ray Charles? C’mon, dig deep…we need a female, older than you (because you need to be the young, hip dude), and she needs to be powerful. Yes.

Ok, Taylor’s not answering. The cone must be soundproof, so I’m coming up with my own possibilities.

1. Ellen DeGeneres

She’s hip. She’s blond, tall, and loaded. She’s also hysterically funny and she’s powerful in Hollywood.

ellen-degeneres

Wait. She’s married…to a woman. Fuck. Ok, moving on…

2. Meryl Streep

She’s got hit movies coming out the wazoo, she’s tall, she’s blond, she’s loaded. She’s musical. Mama Mia anyone? Oh hell, musical…never mind, cancel that.

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Wait. She’s married, too.

3. Diane Sawyer

She’s smart, she’s on the television every morning. She’s tall, she’s blond, she’s loaded.

diane-sawyer

Wait. She’s married too. I’m sensing a pattern here.

Oh..I’ve got it. This is the one.

4. Whitney Houston

She’s on the verge of a comeback. She’s got her own musical career. Taylor could protect her from her crazy ex husband. She’s tall, she’s not blonde (but she could be if she wanted to), and she’s loaded. She needs a man, not a baby daddy. Yes. Taylor, are you listening to me? Are you?? Call Whitney!!

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Go, Taylor, Go!!

K is for Krispy Kreme….wait, what?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by itsallgrey

How is that, you ask? Simple. I’m referring to Taylor’s yo-yo’ing of weight. Remember him on Idol? All pudgy and cute?

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After AI, he started slimming down…

toohot

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Then we had the “dating” Caroline Lyders stage, where he got too thin:

17513PCN_Taylor

Then we had the post-Caroline phase, where he started eating again… obviously attempting to sate his sorrow in food.  It’s okay, Taylor.  We’ve all been there.  *sigh*

taylorgrease

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And then, Work arrived.  Yes, Work will Save Us All!!  In this case, “work” equals “Grease”.  I mean, how many calories do you think he burns during the hand-jive?!? Problem is, no matter how many calories he burns, that wig still makes him look twenty pounds heavier….and the glitter adds another ten.

greasesuit

Go Taylor!!  Shake it, Bones!!

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Not to mention, I bet there aren’t Krispy Kremes on every corner of Manhatten.  So, Taylor was down again, and getting jiggy with it for his video.

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With the stability of “Grease” and the healthful influence of his entourage (oh come on, you know Bill Will and Clay Connor are practically the Vegans of Greenpeace…  ), Taylor has maintained a healthy weight for the past year now.

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Just remember Taylor, “moderation” is the word.  Not “Grease”.