Looking for Love…

In keeping up with the alphabet theme, I present you with

L is for Love

I think I have figured out Taylor’s PR problem. He needs more visibility, specifically in the eyes of the younger generation. He needs to be the young dude in a power couple, kind of like Demi Moore and Ashton Kuchter. So, in an effort to fix this problem, I’m going to ask Taylor a question:

Taylor, when you were growing up, did you have a crush on anybody beside Ray Charles? C’mon, dig deep…we need a female, older than you (because you need to be the young, hip dude), and she needs to be powerful. Yes.

Ok, Taylor’s not answering. The cone must be soundproof, so I’m coming up with my own possibilities.

1. Ellen DeGeneres

She’s hip. She’s blond, tall, and loaded. She’s also hysterically funny and she’s powerful in Hollywood.

ellen-degeneres

Wait. She’s married…to a woman. Fuck. Ok, moving on…

2. Meryl Streep

She’s got hit movies coming out the wazoo, she’s tall, she’s blond, she’s loaded. She’s musical. Mama Mia anyone? Oh hell, musical…never mind, cancel that.

meryl-streep1

Wait. She’s married, too.

3. Diane Sawyer

She’s smart, she’s on the television every morning. She’s tall, she’s blond, she’s loaded.

diane-sawyer

Wait. She’s married too. I’m sensing a pattern here.

Oh..I’ve got it. This is the one.

4. Whitney Houston

She’s on the verge of a comeback. She’s got her own musical career. Taylor could protect her from her crazy ex husband. She’s tall, she’s not blonde (but she could be if she wanted to), and she’s loaded. She needs a man, not a baby daddy. Yes. Taylor, are you listening to me? Are you?? Call Whitney!!

whitney-houston4

Go, Taylor, Go!!

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42 Responses to “Looking for Love…”

  1. I vote for Sheryl Crow.

  2. How about Paula Abdul….
    With her leaving the show and all…perfect publicity.

  3. mamaforpeace Says:

    Dang, IAG, those are old broads! It’s ok, I can say that, I am one too:) Whitney, maybe. And Paula, well, yes, of course!

  4. casualfan Says:

    You don’t want him with Whitney. She’s a drug addict and has a mean as hell ex husband, so she’s out.

    Taylor had the hots for Bo Derek. 😉

  5. Shadowlesssoul Says:

    I vote for Kelly Ripa. Sad she’s got a pesky husband.

  6. hicksaholic Says:

    Taylor would probably go for Kelly if she wasn’t married. Paula would be the perfect choice to get Taylor’s name back in the spotlight and she seems to have trouble keeping a relationship going.
    Who was that blonde Taylor had his picture made with that made Peoples most beautiful people list this past year? He definitely had a sparkle in his eyes in that picture.
    I hate Taylor and Caroline Lyders split up. I remember Widespread Ted posting how happy Taylor was with her. I wondered if she went back to her old boyfriend.
    Uh oh- I think my obsession is showing again that I know this much about Taylor.

  7. cendrillon0308 Says:

    Are petite brunettes ruled out?

  8. How about Brad Pitts ex wife? That would bring him super publicity and she seems to have trouble keeping a guy or even choosing a decent one. The age difference is less than a decade and she has major bucks, and dominates magazine covers. Their kids would have great skin and hair but gigantic chins and questionable noses.

  9. LOL! That was funny!

    The problem with Taylor being with a cougar is that he looks older than his age. He needs a REALLY old woman who can make him look young. I vote for Barbara Walters.

  10. Hehe old! Joan Rivers is old and entertaining. Tay could be her new Edgar and co host the pre awards show besides! “Who are you wearing Brad?”

  11. spinshack Says:

    Rosie, that’s hilarious.

    Me, I got nothing. Just stopped by to read.

    Anyone sick of T stuck on just ice cream pimping yet? I am and working a blog post about it. *Satan’s whispering on my shoulder…*

  12. spin…yes. I was sick of the ice cream tweets and the cone ranger tweets on the first twit.

  13. spinshack Says:

    Initially it was cute but now not so much. Well we shall see if his new knowledge of twitpic actually works out to having pics on twitter. Or not.

  14. OK, lets see how I can tie in the Cone Ranger tweets with the topic Taylor looking for love. Tay has tons of female fans in their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Must be off putting for him trying to communicate as in a real conversation. Imagine him having much to say to his mom’s or step mom’s late 50’s female friends. Maybe I just imagine it but he has more of a twinkle in his eye when he poses with, an attractive female in their 20’s, 30’s and the slim and pretty 40 somethings. He even has that twinkle when he poses with children. Perhaps he thinks the old gals, moms and grannies get off on his tweets and how is he supposed to respond to some of the tweets I’ve read from fans. Not saying he doesn’t appreciate his old gal ardent fans, but it must be most difficult for him to ponder them as his peers and post as though they were. Just saying when I meet him again I may make up a fake name so there will be No Way he can connect me to “inches and balls.” But I agree stop the flavers and cone talk and tweet about music or even the weather or what he is wearing.

  15. mamaforpeace Says:

    Rosie, very thoughtful post!

  16. What makes y’all think he’s even looking????????

  17. Oh man, if you’re bored here in Taylorland, go cruise righthickssave for a little while. I was looking for a certain photo I know she posted once and found myself laughing my hienie off. Fun trip down memroy lane.

  18. memroy? yeah, that’s right- memroy lane. It’s right next to easoy street.

  19. mamaforpeace Says:

    Fair, because it’s time for the letter L!

  20. I guess no one remembers Taylor has mentioned Linda Ronstadt more than once in the past.
    Too lazy to go find sources – wayyy to hot for where I live tonight – but from my ragged memory : he mentioned her as a favorite female singer : said something about the way she looked at 25 (or when he was 25 ?) : and of course the WTH? comment about writing Son of a Carpenter for? / about? her.

    (personal opinion on that one has always been that he was talking about SOAC being in the style of some of the songs she was known for . . but what do I know )

  21. casualfan Says:

    I think T would like someone who is quiet, smart, funny, independent and especially one that knows her place. Non of these women have all these characteristics.

    AH-I LOVE Linda Ronstadt. All of her music, especially the older songs are full of soul and spirit. Ms. Ronstadt is one of a kind indeed.

  22. Was wandering back through trying to catch up and remembered I didn’t say why I brought up Linda Ronstadt . . brain melt due to heat wave.
    Nominating her for the cougar part in Grey’s marketing scheme.

    If Taylor goes to Ashton Kutcher for advice, maybe he could ask for a few tweeting pointers too. . . just a thought. :}

  23. Oh, I remember that Linda Rondstadt quote. Never have figured out what the hell he meant by that.

    And how old is Linda Rondstadt by now?

  24. Linda’s 63 now. (I gergled it) For some reason, I don’t think she’s his type:

  25. casualfan Says:

    If she’s 63 years old, she’s still beautiful. I’m thinking when T is that age he won’t be anyone type either.

  26. I think T would like someone who is quiet, smart, funny, independent and especially one that knows her place.

    WHAAAAAAAT??!? Please tell me you don’t think he’s the “barefoot and pregnant” type. Although, maybe that’s what happened with CL. She doesn’t strike me as the “knows her place” type.
    *confused*

  27. Wait a minute. That’s Linda Rondstadt? Wow. She doesn’t look 63, for sure.

    And YKW, I agree.

  28. YKW I was thinking the same thing- someone who knows her place? What does that mean?

  29. Just my opinion.. but I don’t think Taylor would be happy with any ONE women anymore than if he only had one song to sing. Heck, he even has trouble singing one song straight without tagging in several others. Perhaps Taylor is a bachelor for a reason and that reason is not a lack of women. Tweets show that he likes a different flavor everyday.

  30. No disrespect to Linda when I said she’s not his type. What I meant is have you ever seen him with a woman with curves? He seems to like em skinny.

  31. casualfan Says:

    YKW Says:

    August 17, 2009 at 8:06 am
    I think T would like someone who is quiet, smart, funny, independent and especially one that knows her place.

    WHAAAAAAAT??!? Please tell me you don’t think he’s the “barefoot and pregnant” type. Although, maybe that’s what happened with CL. She doesn’t strike me as the “knows her place” type.
    *confused*

    =============================================
    hahaha! Yep, I stand by what I said and yes-you are correct, CL broke the mold on everything that seems to be T’s type.

  32. So, Tay”s happier with that knows their “place”? Hahahahahaha!! Must be why he and Bill lasted so long. 😀

  33. Sweetay- interesting idea

  34. I don’t think Taylor has a type.

  35. Maybe in Taylors case it should be……L is for Lust or maybe lover.

  36. Tell me what Tay’s type is if and when he gets married. Heard he had two tall blondes waiting in the wings last night in Atlanta. IAG wrote this so we could have fun posting about powerful cougars, “Fantasyland”, Tay could hook up with and most likely boost his career, via publicity, and gain big bucks. In case you never noticed most guys go for the best looking female they can get to hook up with. Dating someone requires something more and marriage, yet more. This is just a fun thing, no need to have him walk down that isle. OMG, what would that be like in SP land?

  37. Snowstorm Says:

    Two tall blondes?? Sounds like Taylor hooked up with the Doublemint Twins!! LMAO!!

  38. I got a picture of at least ONE tall blonde. Hesitate to post it…

  39. casualfan Says:

    YKW Says:

    August 17, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    So, Tay”s happier with that knows their “place”? Hahahahahaha!! Must be why he and Bill lasted so long.
    =============================================
    ROFLMAO! Finally-someone gets it!

  40. casualfan Says:

    NolaMar Says:

    August 18, 2009 at 2:12 am
    I got a picture of at least ONE tall blonde. Hesitate to post it…
    ===============================================
    Please don’t post any pics of chicks. The last thing we all need is the speculations, inuendos of who she is. Besides, she’s most likely a long lost cousin, twice removed from Mountain Brook, AL who he hasn’t seen in years. **scratches head**

  41. LOL@ Snowstorm! and I could care less about pics of chicks.

  42. I had no intention of it…figure she is one of their wives or GF’s. She walked out on the back of the stage and I just happened to catch her in my photo of the group. Looks like she was taking a picture of Brian.

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