Friends, foes and fandoms

For months now, I’ve been writing this blog. I’ve tried to run it in a fair and even minded manner. I want everybody to respect each other, and for the most part, things have been going well. Today, I came across this blog and was blown away but what she had to say about online communities.

On the other hand, I participate in some other non-technical online communities that are predominantly female and I have certainly witnessed nastiness in those. There is a pack mentality around the behavior where cliques of people “have your back” if you are their “friend”, often times even if criticism is warranted. There’s an apparent hierarchy involved where some people are “untouchable”. When the untouchables criticize another group member, the group doesn’t act against them. Rather, their comments are generally ignored or justifications are made. Granted, the reason that these people have exalted status in these communities is because they have a history for fair and even posts, with well thought-out criticisms, over a long period of time. OTOH, it’s disturbing to see one person (of lesser status) post something that is fair and justified and warranted, but directed at someone of “high status” and see her get blasted, while another person (of high status) posts nearly the same thing and it is ignored. Maybe this will make more sense in some pseudo code (taken from some typical behavior in a non-technical community in which I participate).

* A – person w/high status
* B – person w/high status
* C – person w/low or unknown status
* A criticizes actions of B (justified criticism)
* B ignores A’s comments
* C criticizes actions of B (same basic argument as A)
* B BLASTS C’s post, and many of B’s “friends” come to her defense, but no one says anything about A’s post.
* A realized the injustice and comes to the defense of C saying, “Hey, I said the same thing and you guys didn’t blast me. Leave C alone”

[unintended consequence: C may rise in the hierarchy because of apparent support by A].

OR

A ignores the injustice (or is oblivious to it) and C stays low on the totem pole, having been knocked down a notch.

How often have we seen this very behavior in the Hicksian Fandom? Just as I begin to believe that as we move forward, we will all come together to let one another “be a fan” in our own ways, something happens to make me realize there are those in this community whose grudges are bigger than Taylor’s talent.

Let’s say that we, too, have an “A” and a “B”. Imagine this scenario:

“A” does not like “B”. There are multiple reasons, but it really comes down to “A” having a certain standard of what a “fan” should be, how a “fan” should act and what a “fan” should write. “B” does not fall within these guidelines developed by “A”. “B” however, marches to the beat of her own drummer. She doesn’t care what “A’s” guidelines are. She is a fan of Taylor’s, but doesn’t think he invented music itself. In her world, Taylor can and does make mistakes, be it in the area of marketing or performing. She doesn’t believe that criticizing these aspects negates her “fan” status.

Then there are countless others out there who just hang in the middle, treading through the bullshit that pervades this fandom. These are the ones that get “tested”, so to speak, their loyalties and motives questioned by other fans. It’s all so ridiculous.

I’ve been in this fandom for three years now. For three years I’ve posted about Taylor Hicks, I’ve gone to concerts, I’ve made friends, and I’ve lost friends because of Taylor Hicks. I’ve been under the microscope of the Soul Patrol and I’ve also dished some grief out. Here’s the thing, though. In the three years of “learning the ropes of the fandom”, I like to think that I’ve grown a little from this experience.

For example, my eyes are open a little wider when it comes to music. I’ve been exposed to more artists via Taylor Hicks than I was previously, and that has afforded me some perspective on Taylor’s place in the music industry. I don’t profess to be a music geek, because there is so much that I don’t know. However, I’m pretty happy with the artists that I have heard.

I’ve discovered lots of things about myself, and the people that I surround myself with. I understand that friendships shouldn’t be based on my level of fangirliness, but should be based on real, substantial qualities, even in this virtual world that we all co-exist in.

As Taylor put it:

“Saw an old friend yesterday
Guess we both had too much to say
Seems we’ve taken different sides
All caught up in politics and pride”

All the backstabbing, name calling, second grade behavior that goes on in this fandom needs to be something we see in the distance, the distance way behind us.