The Fair Weather Fan’s Guide to Seeing Grease

For those Taylor Hicks fans who are unexplainably and unfortunately drawn to a showing of Grease in a city near you, here’s how to hide from the crazies, and maybe your own conscience.

1. Higher is better, and I’m not talking weed, although…. If you’re looking for tickets, go cheap and go nosebleed. All the crazies that can recognize you from prior concert going experiences will be down front. Besides, you’re only going to hear the new song, right?

2. Pray for an express version of Grease. It just cuts right through to the end, Taylor sings his new song, and you can leave. Nobody wants to see Taylor fuck up the Hand Jive anyway. *cringe*

3. Speaking of not being recognized, go in disguise. It will save you from the Soul Patrol running up to you, screaming, “Aren’t you excited??” and hearing about their plans of seeing Taylor at the stage door, hoping he’ll sign their playbill. Besides, if you go to the stage door, you know you’ll just want to touch where rhinestones just laid, and if you happen to see any stage makeup left smudged by his ear, you know you’ll want to strangle him. Save yourself the bail money, skip the stage door.

4. Consider either fasting or gaining an extreme amount of weight, enough to be unrecognizable. However, don’t do so to such an extreme that you end up with a wheelchair and a nurse, because then you’ll be put in the handicapped section, which makes you extremely visible and breaks rule #1.

5. You need to go either inebriated or some other chemically induced state, because seeing it sober doesn’t seem like such a good idea. I’m not advocating, of course, the use of illegal substances, but drastic times call for drastic measures. A note of caution, however…if you run into Bill Will at the merch table, do not, under any circumstances, share your substances.

6. This goes without saying, but I’m saying it anyway. Don’t tell anybody that you’re going. This will save you from repeated questions and the need for recaps. How many times can you hear that Taylor “wailed on the harmonica” and “looked dashing in his bedazzled suit with the pompadour”? Do you really want to relive that experience over and over?

7. Hope that the new song is worth all of the anguish that you will undoubtedly experience.

You can take my advice or not. Hey, I’m just throwing it out there. πŸ™‚

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21 Responses to “The Fair Weather Fan’s Guide to Seeing Grease”

  1. The only thing I will say is these women who are going to multiple Grease shows and multiple meet and greets….what the heck for? If you’re not stalking him, then what is the purpose? I just saw the photos of the NESP and most of those ladies have already seen him on Broadway multiple times. I just don’t get it. I saw Grease once and that was enough for me and I have no desire to see it again. Poor Taylor must be tired of seeing the same faces at every show. And I honestly think he is scared to death of some of his fans. It also must be somewhat embarrassing for him to have fans that are old enough to be his Mom and these are the ones I’m always seeing.

  2. Or skip it altogether.

  3. Now, now, money spent is money earned – by the show. I will say that when I do attend I won’t broadcast to the world exactly when I go or in any way identify myself while there. ha. Hair coloration? Maybe. Bedazzled t-shirt? Definitely not. Good times ‘enhancements’? Possibly. πŸ˜‰

    Have you heard the interview he provided Traveling Tim yet? Pretty great publicity. Hicks name drops several musicians appearing with him on the record: Doyle Bramhall, Nathan East and Abe Laboriel. Just really amazing compilation of musicians. Perhaps he’s found the right Simon. Time will tell, but I am stoked.

    Speaking of glitter, hey Dick, skip to the loo, my darlin’. (Give it a moment…)

  4. Itsallgrey, I saw Grease in N.Y. and will see it again close to home. Since I have not been around long enough to meet other fans no one knew me. There are no net photos of me. My friend and I saw some wearing flashing pins and Tay shirts. The show was good and those who just came to see Grease, seemed to enjoy Taylor as much as the soul patrol. I did get to meet him outside and got my program signed and he was in a very chatty mood. It was obvious Taylor was enjoying himself on stage and relishing the appaulse and screams and laughter. I know some fans don’t want any part of Teen Angel Hicks. Having seen him in the role, I highly recommend it. I think at first, he may have agreed to do the role on Broadway, to keep his name out there while making some money. Now I think he caught the acting bug and realises he has more talent than just as a singer performer. Its all Grey, I’m sure you know your topic has offended many fans who will consider it more black than grey. Having a blog gives you freedom to speak your opinion and in this on line community of Taylor fans, you have created a buzz.

  5. He took this role because he was not getting any other offers. That’s pretty obvious. He would not have done this if he had been successful in music. Taylor Hicks wants fame whether it’s in music or anything in the entertainment field.

  6. Snowstorm,

    I think alot of those things could be said for many entertainers. I think that alot of performers cross over from one field to another. In my personal opinion, I think Taylor should have waited until he was established in one genre of entertainment before stepping into another. To me, it looks like he is just jumping around, trying to find a niche.

  7. Spinshack, I’m glad that you understood the humor behind this post. I did see those interviews, and he seems to have a good band behind him. I’m only hoping for good things with this album. I think it’s going to make him or break him.

    Rosie, I think there are factions of the Soul Patrol that need to unclench. It’s my feeling that this group would find offense at any statement that was uttered tongue in cheek, possibly because of the pedestal that they have placed Taylor upon.

    Also, there are certain fans who, no matter what I say, will dismiss me, based on who I am. I do wish good things for Taylor, and I’m not one to vote the party line. I speak my opinion, and give others the opportunity to speak theirs.

  8. Virtual Speak Says:

    1. I suggest drinking heavily before seeing the show. Then plummeting from your balcony seat and landing on an SP’er that’s taking illegal video of the show.

    2. Actually, watching Taylor screw up the lyrics and the dance steps is worth the trip. His part of his endearing charm.

    3. If you go in disguise please don’t do the clown nose thing. It’s been done. Several times. Badly. Also, do not ask Taylor to partake in your ingenious masquerade. He isn’t a trained grind monkey.

    As far as the stage door goes. If you can’t afford a M&G. I highly recommend this practice. It’s the same amount of time spent, and the same autograph.

    4. According to statistics (the SP is loaded with statisticians) most Taylor fans are already using wheelchairs and have a nurse. Maybe the “New Found Freedom’ song will be for adult diapers afterall.

    5. Bill never reciprocates. Take, take, take. Has he been demoted? Bill the Merch guy now? hmmm..

    6. I agree. Don’t tell a soul. Just observe. Not the show.. just observe..

    Then.. recap it anonymously on an obscure blog. I’ll hedge a bet it takes the “slueths of the SP” less than a day to find it.

    I guarantee the new song will do us proud.

    πŸ˜‰

  9. Damn, Vs. I might have to actually agree with your number two. It is part of his charm. Kind of like how he can’t remember the lyrics to the songs he’s actually written. hahaha…gotta love that.

    As for Bill, well, I have a feeling he reciprocates from time to time. And isn’t the merch table a step up from carrying Taylor’s backpack? Although, I did see a recent pic of them after the show, and he was still carrying the backpack around. πŸ˜‰

  10. Virtual Speak, you made me laugh so hard, I think I wrenched a hip and will actually need a nurse and wheelchair!!! Thanks a lot!!! πŸ˜›

    Hahahhahahahhahaha!!

  11. VS, man, LOVE your ‘take no prisoners approach. I’m especially enamored with number 1. Although I might eschew from taking that dive down, the mental imagery is Awesome – it will remain with me at that next Taylor Hicks event I attend. ha.

    “I guarantee the new song will do us proud.”

    *clapping* πŸ˜›

  12. I call it the “Stage Door for the Poor.”

    Meet and Greets used to be prohibitively expensive.

  13. Virtual Speak Says:

    hickifino… that is some funny shit right there….

    β€œStage Door for the Poor.”

  14. Well, I think they still are expensive. $89 to meet Taylor? Come on. And does anybody know what in the meet and greet package? Seriously, $329? He better me making me dinner and feeding it to me, spoonful by tender spoonful. That’s ridiculous.

  15. I’d be embarrassed if I were him to charge for a M&G. I’m guessing the Alabama boy has been told what a great idea this is – but man, unless that money’s going to charity it isn’t a great idea. I’m not knocking any fans who want to pay to meet him, that’s their dime, their prerogative.

    I agree, IAG, it’s ridiculous.

    hickifino that is funny.

  16. I’m with you, spinshack. If people want to pay to meet him, that is their business. But, not a good marketing idea. Again.

    And I really want to know what’s in that package.

  17. :lol_tb:

  18. Ok that did not work. πŸ˜› at your ‘package’ curiosity IAG. hahaha

  19. Wha? I’m innocent here.

    hahhahaa…ok, maybe not that innocent. πŸ˜‰

  20. A recap might be cleansing. It’s served that purpose before. I dunno. I’m just a little afraid for my sanity at this point. Yeah I know this is from December. Whatever. It still applies.

  21. It still applies if you’re being dragged to a show. πŸ˜‰

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