All questions…no answers…

The video chat begins:

First off, Taylor’s glad everybody can hear.

Here come the questions….

Shadow tour? Hahahhahaa!!

No golf. Ten feet of snow. He’s got some downtime next week. Stalkers take note!!

Apparently we’re going to talk about the weather. Wow.

Once again…no answers. Obviously Taylor can read, but he can’t give us a straight answer.

New songs for the CD? Yes and no.

Cool gigs…can’t tell you where…gotta keep the suspense up.

Did I see the president? Oh, you’ll never know. Dear God.

Fair and festivals? Stay tuned to the website. Of course.

Nashville? Going in the summer. Okaaay.

Oh, a tidbit…he’s going to hang out with Rascal Flatts Friday night. Could you work that into a tour?

Musical history.

Television? Yeah, but I can’t tell you about it. Of course not, Taylor. Of course not.

Nope, he’s not posing for Playgirl. Oh, I love the bags comment. Nice one.

Dancing with the Stars? Please, no.

Bucky Covington sent Taylor a text. Exciting but Daddy won’t let the kids see it. *sigh*

Maybe You Should is still on hold.

Forgot to take your Ritalin, didn’t ya, Taylor? Dude can’t sit still. That toothpaste taste good??

“gotta keep you guys guessing”? omg.

He did not just sing a line of Just to Feel that Way.

Please say no on the Broadway roles. Please say no….once again, no real answer.

Now, we’re going to talk about BBQ.

Washington Monument pics…more to come.

New music on myspace? I’ll get on my management on it…in other words…”Clay, get on it!!”

The family’s all good. Bill and Clay are doing fine. But what I want to know is…how in the hell are Ray and Lamont?

He’s going to try and do more video chats. I’m not holding my breath on that one.

Spelling lesson of the day: SOUL….S-O-U-L

And then…he’s gone. Yeah.

Oh, and on a side note, the Shiba Inu puppy cam is getting more viewers than Taylor did. I think he maxed out at about 208.

Reverse mojo

Tomorrow, the Taylor fandom will be in front of their computers, salivating for a chance to chat LIVE!! with their American Idol. The problem is, this is Taylor and it’s live. The chances of something going wrong are numerous, especially since, as my friendly neighborhood astrologist tells me, mercury is in retrograde. I really don’t know what that means, but I don’t think it’s good. So, in order to avert the evil eye, bad mojo or the Brady Bunch Tiki doll of doom, I’m throwing some ideas out there.

1. This is live and this is Taylor. Wait, I already said that. Taylor and technology don’t exactly go together. Do I even need to remind you what happened when he wanted to have a “chat” and it got postponed 843576 times before actually working?

2. Taylor will sweat profusely, necessitating a shirt change in the middle of the video chat. Some people might like that though.

3. Taylor will rely on the interview standby’s for answers, such as “I’m running a marathon, not a sprint.” and “Grease is a great opportunity for somebody breaking into the acting field.”

4. Once again, he’ll mention how many roles he was offered before accepting “Grease” or worse yet, how he was in the middle of eating a barbecue sandwich while accepting “Grease”.

5. Taylor will proclaim himself Mr. Twitter and is taking over the universe.

6. Taylor will refer to all his fans as “twats” because they twitter with him.

7. He’ll talk about how Bill found the perfect cheeseburger and that’s why he’s no longer working with him.

8. Let’s just hope Taylor doesn’t pan the webcam down and show a glimpse of Clay rubbing his feet.

9. Taylor’s allergies will act up, causing there to be technical difficulties with the webcam. Perhaps a particularly potent sneeze will topple it from the stand.

10. He’ll refer to himself in the third person, but only as “Cone Ranger”.