Random thoughts…

My ADD is in high gear today, so I’m just going to throw some thoughts out there.

1. What is the big hubbub over Idletard? It’s gone. Good riddance. I got over people like that a long time ago.

2. Is the balloon boy hoax more harmful to the American public than Taylor Hicks’ hoax that he’s going to bring “real music back to fucking pop music”?

3. Don’t hate my brilliance.

4. I have decided that Taylor Hicks fans need a sense of humor. Somewhere, somehow, their collective sense of humor got lost. He’s a reality TV winner. I mean, let’s not go choosing our lottery numbers by his birthday or anything. That being said, it’s not blasphemy when I post about other musicians. Expanding horizons are a good thing. Expanding waistlines, not so much.

5. When did grownups start thinking Halloween was for them? Martha Stewart and Southern Living Magazine did not invent Halloween.

6. I’ll close here by saying I have never forced any staff members of this blog to sleep with me to keep their job. Granted, it’s just me…but I’m not pulling a Letterman.

I like gray hair and one night stands…yeah.

As I listen to this new interview(Wednesday, Segment 11-13), I just wanted to throw some random thoughts out there. So, here goes nothing…

*This DJ dude loves Taylor. That’s cool, he needs more of that. First off, the obligatory questions about the “girlfriend”. Taylor doesn’t have time…and “I tried the relationship thing on the road.”

*When the DJ basically asked him why AI hated him, Taylor responded with “The songs that you record you have to live with the rest of your life. I started blazing that path of having my own creative control.” In other words: I was basically an ass and did what I wanted. That pissed them off, and they blackballed me. Ok, maybe not exactly, but that’s my interpretation. Isn’t that what you’re reading for?

*”I don’t have to work at a bank to get in my underwear, drink beer, watch television, watch football.” hahahahahah

*”I was in Italy…not thinking that I would get Soul Patrolled.” Once again, Taylor is breaking through, inventing new phrases. Gotta love it.

*DJ: When you’re a single guy traveling the country, women must be jumping all over you.
Taylor: *grunts*
DJ: Do you like fat chicks?
Taylor: Maybe…maybe I do.

*That little exchange cracked me up. But then it gets better. We get tips from Taylor on how to pick him up.
“I like grey hair and I like one night stands.” ahahhahaha…I love this side of Taylor. “Be real.”

*”You guys got me a cake??!! Oh crap!!”

*”I have a Coldstone cake. It’s a very hard ice cream cake.”

I love this interview. I love that Taylor showed a side of himself that perhaps only his inner circle sees. Also, I love how the other two DJ’s are giving the guy a hard time about having a crush on Taylor. Kudos to Taylor for showing some personality..it’s kind of like Taylor gave me a gift for his birthday. Ha.

Happy Birthday Hawt Stuff!!

Here’s a few of your favorite things…well, a few of the things you have professed to like. I won’t pretend that I know you.

Oh wait…that might not be the right kind. Try this:

Please, please have one for me. Hey, I live vicariously. What can I say?

Wish you had time to relax and visit here today…

or here:

or especially here:

And I hope this one can come visit you…

At your next shadow stop, sing this song for me:

Here’s a little present for me, since it’s your birthday and all…

Help!! I’m being sucked back in….

Every once in a while, I think to myself…Ok, I’m done. I don’t need to hear every little bit of Taylor news. I don’t need to know where he is 24/7. I don’t care who he’s dating. I just am going to back to my normal life and leave Taylor in the past. Every time, Taylor then does something to pull me back in. I knew that the Mecca weekend would bring some pretty good videos. I knew Taylor would be on his best behavior and put on a hell of a show. I don’t think he disappointed anyone. Not even me.

Here are some of the videos responsible for my inner fangirl seeing the light of day:

Wow. Tons of emotion in this one…

I haven’t listened to this song in a very, very long time…and hearing it brought back some memories…good and bad. I can’t say enough about Brian Less. He is seriously awesome!!

Josh Smith. AMAZING. If you’re like me, you’ll skip to about the 4 minute mark when the magic begins. What can I say? WRIR is not one of my favorites…but damn, the ending is fantastic!!

Whew. I’m about spent. But this one…is very cool. Love, love, love the original ones.

Shut up and sing. I voted for you.

Priceless.

Mecca 2009

Talk about it.
Post it.
Share it.

BRING IT.

GO!

Something to get us started…

Dear Taylor…

I know Workplay is coming up…and I also know that all of your hardcore stalkers fans will be there. I know you’re probably looking for some sage advice on how to handle all the adulation. So, because I love to tell you what to do, here ya go:

1. If you’re invited to a family reunion, but it’s not your family…don’t go. There’s a couple of sis fans that would like to bring you into the fold. And by into the fold, I really mean lock you in their basement.

2. These people know where your parents live. Don’t go there. Better yet, send them to Tahiti for a second honeymoon. It will save them a lot of grief.

3. They also know where you like to go for your meat and three. Get delivery.

4. Can you swing by Georgia and pick Bill up? I miss him.

5. We recommend promoting Clay to “Drink Tester”. Don’t drink anything that a fan has bought you unless Clay has first. If he doesn’t pass out in a drug stupor within 30 seconds, you’re fine. Consume at will.

6. Tell your family and your inner circle, no new friends this weekend. It doesn’t matter if they’re friends on Facebook or not.

7. When you get drunk and go out at 2am, there will be cameras and video wherever you go. Stay locked up. Drink alone. This is why you need to pick up Bill.

Most of all, have fun and SOUL PAH-TROL!!

Yours in unbridled sarcasm,

Straw

Warehouse Live Houston

Another show, another review…boy, the Houston press doesn’t take too kindly to Taylor, do they?

Even though I don’t agree with a lot of what this guy says, he did hit the nail on the head with this:

We couldn’t tell if the crowd was excited to hear an obscure Nawlins track or if they just enjoyed being able to smell the man’s dry cleaning. You could stick out your finger and taste the sexual charge in the air.

and maybe this:

After watching Taylor Hicks last night in the studio last night at Warehouse Live we now know why these hallowed blog halls have been strewn with bitter words from angry Soul Patrollers. Hicks is a modern day Dan Fogelberg, a one-man Bread, and an American Idol anomaly.

As for this part:

It’s his original work that gets overwrought and clunky, with every song either rhyming “love” with “above” or “hand” with “man.”

I completely disagree. I love his original stuff.

Although, this vid is great:

and this:

I love Battlefield, too…

This is a great version of Don’t Let Me Down

I haven’t heard him sing this in a long time…

“I hope everybody can hear me…”

Taylor Hicks Webcast 09/10/09 03:19PM

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more about “Taylor Hicks Webcast 09/10/09 03:19PM…“, posted with vodpod

 

Some random observations:

1. Distracted much, Taylor? Dude, Ritalin can be your friend.

2. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could actually smell the person that was talking? What? Might be a good thing…might not be.

3. So, I guess Taylor is now an Idol expert since he’s talking on the Early Show. Guess what? The Early Show is on in the morning. Ha.

4. Taylor does not want to be on COPS. Damn, that could have been fun. He could always be on Entourage. That can’t be too far from the truth. They just did an episode at a celebrity golf tourney!

5. How many times is he going to say “You guys!!”?

6. “Let me read some of this chat stuff. Ummmm…..cool.” ahahhahahahhaaha

7. 1976-1982 That’s what he wants to go back to? Oh boy. He wants to be the next Tom Jones. Well, he’s already got a drum full of panties.

8. Limin’…gotta love that song.

9. You can tell that he is definitely having a hard time focusing. And he’s cracking himself up too.

10. ” Hire a good mouthpiece.” “Don’t date a musician and don’t mess with anybody’s dogs.” Ok, is it just me or does it seem like Taylor talks in sound bites?

11. It seems a little odd to me that he won’t mention the cologne he wears. Is it because it’s too personal? Or because he doesn’t want 4908574 bottles sent to him? Or is it because it’s really Love’s Baby Soft Musk? ahahaha

12. Well, that was…interesting.

Reverse mojo

Tomorrow, the Taylor fandom will be in front of their computers, salivating for a chance to chat LIVE!! with their American Idol. The problem is, this is Taylor and it’s live. The chances of something going wrong are numerous, especially since, as my friendly neighborhood astrologist tells me, mercury is in retrograde. I really don’t know what that means, but I don’t think it’s good. So, in order to avert the evil eye, bad mojo or the Brady Bunch Tiki doll of doom, I’m throwing some ideas out there.

1. This is live and this is Taylor. Wait, I already said that. Taylor and technology don’t exactly go together. Do I even need to remind you what happened when he wanted to have a “chat” and it got postponed 843576 times before actually working?

2. Taylor will sweat profusely, necessitating a shirt change in the middle of the video chat. Some people might like that though.

3. Taylor will rely on the interview standby’s for answers, such as “I’m running a marathon, not a sprint.” and “Grease is a great opportunity for somebody breaking into the acting field.”

4. Once again, he’ll mention how many roles he was offered before accepting “Grease” or worse yet, how he was in the middle of eating a barbecue sandwich while accepting “Grease”.

5. Taylor will proclaim himself Mr. Twitter and is taking over the universe.

6. Taylor will refer to all his fans as “twats” because they twitter with him.

7. He’ll talk about how Bill found the perfect cheeseburger and that’s why he’s no longer working with him.

8. Let’s just hope Taylor doesn’t pan the webcam down and show a glimpse of Clay rubbing his feet.

9. Taylor’s allergies will act up, causing there to be technical difficulties with the webcam. Perhaps a particularly potent sneeze will topple it from the stand.

10. He’ll refer to himself in the third person, but only as “Cone Ranger”.

Show me the money!!

Seems like it’s time for Season 5 on American Idol Rewind. Finally. I’m going on record saying I don’t really like this show since I can only view it on the TV Guide channel. I have a real problem watching a program while the viewing guide is scrolling below it. My attention span is short enough without any help, thanks.

It seems some members of the Soul Patrol are already in an uproar over The Wronging of Taylor, Redux. Of course they are viewing the Season 5 rewind from the fandom point of view. But, let’s look through the eyes of a corporation, namely the Evil Monster (FremantleMedia), the massive company that has such a huge impact on American culture, the megacorporation that can make or break an artist in a matter of seconds. Fremantle has a wildly popular show, one that makes them a lot of money. So, what does one do with great shows? Replay them, and not just for the fans viewing pleasure…. oh no. Replay them featuring the performers who have already made (you guessed it… ) MONEY, those artists who appeal to a mass audience. Artists like Daughtry, and even Pickler.

While Taylor Hicks was the winner of American Idol, Season Five, he is not the contestant who has made Fremantle the most money. Thus, he’s not going to be the one featured. Fremantle replays AI to remind people of these artists, so they’ll go out and spend … say it with me now everyone…  “MONEY!!”

Speaking of Season Five:

And just in case you haven’t seen this enough for a lifetime: