Tomorrow, the Taylor fandom will be in front of their computers, salivating for a chance to chat LIVE!! with their American Idol. The problem is, this is Taylor and it’s live. The chances of something going wrong are numerous, especially since, as my friendly neighborhood astrologist tells me, mercury is in retrograde. I really don’t know what that means, but I don’t think it’s good. So, in order to avert the evil eye, bad mojo or the Brady Bunch Tiki doll of doom, I’m throwing some ideas out there.
1. This is live and this is Taylor. Wait, I already said that. Taylor and technology don’t exactly go together. Do I even need to remind you what happened when he wanted to have a “chat” and it got postponed 843576 times before actually working?
2. Taylor will sweat profusely, necessitating a shirt change in the middle of the video chat. Some people might like that though.
3. Taylor will rely on the interview standby’s for answers, such as “I’m running a marathon, not a sprint.” and “Grease is a great opportunity for somebody breaking into the acting field.”
4. Once again, he’ll mention how many roles he was offered before accepting “Grease” or worse yet, how he was in the middle of eating a barbecue sandwich while accepting “Grease”.
5. Taylor will proclaim himself Mr. Twitter and is taking over the universe.
6. Taylor will refer to all his fans as “twats” because they twitter with him.
7. He’ll talk about how Bill found the perfect cheeseburger and that’s why he’s no longer working with him.
8. Let’s just hope Taylor doesn’t pan the webcam down and show a glimpse of Clay rubbing his feet.
9. Taylor’s allergies will act up, causing there to be technical difficulties with the webcam. Perhaps a particularly potent sneeze will topple it from the stand.
10. He’ll refer to himself in the third person, but only as “Cone Ranger”.